Have you ever been to a music conference or to a networking event and observed that artist or producer who treats everyone they meet like a “mark?” That’s the same person who is blasting self-promotion on Facebook, I guarantee you. They gun up to you and are immediately shoving a CD in your face or talking about themselves before you even know their name. Have you ever been to a networking event and met the guy who is shoving a card in your face before you even find out whet he does? Have you ever been to a party and met the guy who starts endlessly talking about something you are not interested in at all?
This happened on the street the other day: I was leaving a restaurant after a dinner with friends and I was looking for a cab. I passed a man, who had clearly had one too many cocktails and he asked me if I wanted to have a drink, loudly from halfway down the street. Ignoring him, I turned the corner and he followed me. Him: “Where are you going?” Me: “Home” Him: “Why? It’s early, you should come have a drink with me.” Me: “No I’m going home thanks for the offer.” (cold stare) (At this point on social media this would be an ‘unfollow’ or a block) Him: “But you should have a drink with me.” (too drunk to follow social cues) Then he crossed a line; he reached out and tried to grab me. and I REACTED. (this would be a block or a spam report) I raised my voice: “Don’t touch me.” It was my intention to alert other people in case this guy got more aggressive, and I needed help, others would notice and have my back (This on social media would be a negative comment left on a blog) He turned and walked away. It was an unpleasant exchange but over in less than a minute. Why did I just share this ? Because, many of you are acting like the inappropriate guy on the street on Facebook & Twitter without meaning to. The term “media” is inherently confusing to creative minds who are approaching Facebook & Twitter as if they were traditional publicists blasting out press releases and “news” and “alerts” on platforms that are not designed to embrace this type of messaging. I wish it was called Social Engagement or Social Conversation, instead. Think of it in these terms you will succeed at it. Artists ask me all of the time: Will you get me on Social Media? Well, yes I can invite you to a great party, where I will know lots of people who will like you and they will want to get to know you… But, I can’t have every single conversation for you while we are at that party, that’s up to you make an impression at a party, at work, or even at home with your spouse. Any communications expert will tell you: By listening first and talking second Online keep this in mind: The key differentiator between traditional media and social media is: YOU. Traditional media works like this: You get reviewed in a newspaper or in a magazine, or played on the radio and it’s broadcast out into the world. People read the magazine or hear a song on the radio. It’s ONE WAY or PASSIVE. Social media, is completely different. It’s a TWO WAY or INTERACTIVE street. You are not only invited to participate, but also encouraged to do so. Platforms like Facebook, Twitter and blogs facilitate easy participation, which is completely transparent and you (and all who are connected) can see, react and participate with you.
Looking to improve your social media presence? Check out Cyber PR’s free course, Social Media House! Click on the picture below to get started.
I agree, been there with the guy, been there waaaaayyyyy too much, Hi Inky I “liked” you, will you “like” me back? Well, if I heard you, I might like you, but how about telling me your name first…… 🙂
I agree with this 100%, I run my band's pages and I always try to stay fairly personable and non-intrusive towards our fans. Hearing them actually tell me they like following us BECAUSE we're not aggressive was pretty nice!
Thanks for the great article and advice, Ariel! Along the same lines as the examples you've given, I've seen way too many bands posting “check me out” messages and links without even mentioning what kind of music they play or who they sound like. Maybe they don't mean to, but it does come off as very arrogant.
You're right that social media is all about the conversation. (I thought the “social” part of the term would help clue people in on that.) One thing I like to do is ask people to “join the conversation” when I send them my facebook or twitter link.
I understand this model, and I try to follow it as much as I can.
my question arises (and maybe there is no answer to it) is that if I have 500+ “fans” on FB, why CANT I put out a bunch of shout outs for an upcoming CD or my Kickstarter campaign (both very timely and important issues). I put up things about the Mets, links to my youtube clips, comments on whether or not I felt good about shows, trying to interact as benignly as possible. At what point does what I think of as attempts at interactivity turn into spamming?
In your example, if they guy was reasonably well-put together, and mostly sober, and chatted you up first, would you have had the drink?
Interesting point Ariel. I actually operate on this level of respecting fans and friends all my life inside and outside of social media. The unfortunate thing is, you an also operate within the social and virtual media etiquette as in the real life and some people won’t care. They go for the jerks and go on dates with them, laughing. Buy their music and support them because the mass said they should, etc. But there is more to this. What if he wasn’t drunk or disoriented? Maybe he would have connected with you, and seem more like the guy you wouldn’t turn down. But in any case, I still operate the way I do because it is who I am. Therefore I totally agree with your point.
“At what point does what I think of as attempts at interactivity turn into spamming?”
The best way to assess whether or not a message is “spamming” is to always put yourself at the RECEIVING end of the message. It's pretty obvious to you when you get spam in your email inbox, right?
You're obviously a musical artist, okay. But I have never heard of you. I don't know what your musical background is, what instruments you play, what your genre of music is, what popular artists you sound like.
YOU have to clue me in on those things at the outset and if it sounds interesting to me, then and only then will I check you out. Otherwise, I will move on. That's how the mind of the public works on the internet.
and fair enough – I play original songs on my acoustic. I'd say half of them are rocking numbers where I wail like a mix of Joe Cocker and Bruce Springsteen and the other half are romantic ballads in styles that range from Spanish Flamenco to the sweeter side of Dave Matthews.
and I would agree wholeheartedly that I would have to clue people in on those things in a blind email or in a unknown setting. However, almost 100% of my fb “fans” are people who either have seen me perform or who know me personally, and therefore have what I would assume is a pretty good insight into what I sound like. I would think that repeating a list of performers I sound like seems redundant and almost insulting to them.
At that point, it seems acceptable to have conversations and do away with multiple introductions, unless I'm totally wrong – which could be possible.
You don't have to repeat everything about yourself to facebook page fans. As you said, they will most likely already know about you. However, even then, it doesn't hurt to give your fans a hint about what to expect – like “come wind down for an evening of soothing acoustic guitar melodies after a long day at work” or “bring your friends and family to a fun and exciting 80s-style rock'n'roll party on Saturday night!” That kind of thing.
BTW, your experience may be different. But to me, facebook pages are not nearly as effective as mailing lists. I don't believe in “passive” promotion. I think it's a bunch of bull. The fact is If you're not a well-known artist (99.9% of us are not well-known artists, no matter what we may think) or you don't play lots of gigs, then most people who might otherwise like your music will never find you online on their own. It just doesn't work that way.
You have to kindly persuade the right people by friending/following them on facebook or twitter based on their music interests. There is absolutely nothing wrong with doing this. You also should describe your music to them, invite them to listen to your music if they like certain popular bands, and request them to sign up for your mailing list (the most important thing), etc. This is a strategy I've found that actually works.
Ideally it should be a two way street. In reality it's only one way. I always get the impression it's just everyone shouting and no one listening.
People post the most mind numbing trivia about themselves. Now in a face to face with friends some little tidbit about yourself but online who gives a damn if your cat Felix weed on the carpet!
Too true Sam. When a band asks me to check out their music I rarely do. If they can't be bothered to go to the trouble of saying something about themselves and their music then why should I invest some of my time into checking them out?
Ariel, I couldn’t agree more with what you’re saying. There are so many artists out there who take the power of social media marketing for granted. People don’t like marketing messages being shoved in their faces all the time! We get desensitized and ignore them completely. The 2-way conversation is important – artists need to create a connection with their fans. It’s not to say that you should NEVER send a message out on Twitter asking your fans to listen to your music or check out your album on iTunes, but we should think about giving rather than just taking. Offline relationships are the same as online relationships. Great post!
Have you ever been to a networking event and met the guy who is shoving a card in your face before you even find out whet he does? Have you ever been to a party and met the guy who starts endlessly talking about something you are not interested in at all?
So right! Thanks for laying it out in those terms, Ariel!
Great insight and so helpful! Thank you
Great hook into the article. Great advice!
Couldn't agree more, social media is about natural, authentic, relationships and conversations.
Perfectly written! It is so important to maintain dignity and respect for others even when you are just looking at a screen!
Excellent post! Thank you!
I agree, been there with the guy, been there waaaaayyyyy too much, Hi Inky I “liked” you, will you “like” me back? Well, if I heard you, I might like you, but how about telling me your name first…… 🙂
I'm listening, Ariel, and I find your sound advice very sound and helpful!!!
Andrea
for Prayer/Life
Wow. Glad that situation did not end up any worse than that, but great analogy! I love your work and you certainly “get it.”
I agree with this 100%, I run my band's pages and I always try to stay fairly personable and non-intrusive towards our fans. Hearing them actually tell me they like following us BECAUSE we're not aggressive was pretty nice!
-Tim
Thanks for the great article and advice, Ariel! Along the same lines as the examples you've given, I've seen way too many bands posting “check me out” messages and links without even mentioning what kind of music they play or who they sound like. Maybe they don't mean to, but it does come off as very arrogant.
You're right that social media is all about the conversation. (I thought the “social” part of the term would help clue people in on that.) One thing I like to do is ask people to “join the conversation” when I send them my facebook or twitter link.
I understand this model, and I try to follow it as much as I can.
my question arises (and maybe there is no answer to it) is that if I have 500+ “fans” on FB, why CANT I put out a bunch of shout outs for an upcoming CD or my Kickstarter campaign (both very timely and important issues). I put up things about the Mets, links to my youtube clips, comments on whether or not I felt good about shows, trying to interact as benignly as possible. At what point does what I think of as attempts at interactivity turn into spamming?
In your example, if they guy was reasonably well-put together, and mostly sober, and chatted you up first, would you have had the drink?
Interesting point Ariel. I actually operate on this level of respecting fans and friends all my life inside and outside of social media. The unfortunate thing is, you an also operate within the social and virtual media etiquette as in the real life and some people won’t care. They go for the jerks and go on dates with them, laughing. Buy their music and support them because the mass said they should, etc. But there is more to this. What if he wasn’t drunk or disoriented? Maybe he would have connected with you, and seem more like the guy you wouldn’t turn down. But in any case, I still operate the way I do because it is who I am. Therefore I totally agree with your point.
“At what point does what I think of as attempts at interactivity turn into spamming?”
The best way to assess whether or not a message is “spamming” is to always put yourself at the RECEIVING end of the message. It's pretty obvious to you when you get spam in your email inbox, right?
You're obviously a musical artist, okay. But I have never heard of you. I don't know what your musical background is, what instruments you play, what your genre of music is, what popular artists you sound like.
YOU have to clue me in on those things at the outset and if it sounds interesting to me, then and only then will I check you out. Otherwise, I will move on. That's how the mind of the public works on the internet.
I agree!
and fair enough – I play original songs on my acoustic. I'd say half of them are rocking numbers where I wail like a mix of Joe Cocker and Bruce Springsteen and the other half are romantic ballads in styles that range from Spanish Flamenco to the sweeter side of Dave Matthews.
and I would agree wholeheartedly that I would have to clue people in on those things in a blind email or in a unknown setting. However, almost 100% of my fb “fans” are people who either have seen me perform or who know me personally, and therefore have what I would assume is a pretty good insight into what I sound like. I would think that repeating a list of performers I sound like seems redundant and almost insulting to them.
At that point, it seems acceptable to have conversations and do away with multiple introductions, unless I'm totally wrong – which could be possible.
You don't have to repeat everything about yourself to facebook page fans. As you said, they will most likely already know about you. However, even then, it doesn't hurt to give your fans a hint about what to expect – like “come wind down for an evening of soothing acoustic guitar melodies after a long day at work” or “bring your friends and family to a fun and exciting 80s-style rock'n'roll party on Saturday night!” That kind of thing.
BTW, your experience may be different. But to me, facebook pages are not nearly as effective as mailing lists. I don't believe in “passive” promotion. I think it's a bunch of bull. The fact is If you're not a well-known artist (99.9% of us are not well-known artists, no matter what we may think) or you don't play lots of gigs, then most people who might otherwise like your music will never find you online on their own. It just doesn't work that way.
You have to kindly persuade the right people by friending/following them on facebook or twitter based on their music interests. There is absolutely nothing wrong with doing this. You also should describe your music to them, invite them to listen to your music if they like certain popular bands, and request them to sign up for your mailing list (the most important thing), etc. This is a strategy I've found that actually works.
Ideally it should be a two way street. In reality it's only one way. I always get the impression it's just everyone shouting and no one listening.
People post the most mind numbing trivia about themselves. Now in a face to face with friends some little tidbit about yourself but online who gives a damn if your cat Felix weed on the carpet!
Too true Sam. When a band asks me to check out their music I rarely do. If they can't be bothered to go to the trouble of saying something about themselves and their music then why should I invest some of my time into checking them out?
Ariel, I couldn’t agree more with what you’re saying. There are so many artists out there who take the power of social media marketing for granted. People don’t like marketing messages being shoved in their faces all the time! We get desensitized and ignore them completely. The 2-way conversation is important – artists need to create a connection with their fans. It’s not to say that you should NEVER send a message out on Twitter asking your fans to listen to your music or check out your album on iTunes, but we should think about giving rather than just taking. Offline relationships are the same as online relationships. Great post!
amen.